How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
