I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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