I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
