I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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