yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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