I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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