Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
