I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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