I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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