You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I stole a fireplace last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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