Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
