In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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