Moan for me like Helen Keller
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
