I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
