The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
