oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
