KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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