Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize