he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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