I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
