I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
