what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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