I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
