everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
