he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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