Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
