stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
