mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I understand Curling. That high.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
