duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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