Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
