Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
