I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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