And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
