if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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