3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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