just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
