just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
