shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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