Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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