the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
