he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
