Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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