Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
