We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I will be naked everywhere
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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