some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
