He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
