so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
