I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
