AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
