also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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