I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
