I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
