bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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