quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
