Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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