i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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