i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize