Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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