It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
