my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
