I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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