Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Holy sore nipples Batman
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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