i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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