Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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