dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
